Because God has a Plan!

Twelve years ago today, September 6^th, 2001, my sweet baby came violently into this world.  In those first precious moments we would both struggle for LIFE, we would both pull through, because God had a plan…

In her first week, we would be shaken to our core when on September 11^th, two planes would fly into the Twin Towers, and another into the pentagon.  Life for our American military family would change.  We would face 3 deployments in the years to come.  But God had a plan….

As she entered her second year of life, she struggled with illness and lost 98% of her hearing.  For the next year and a half she would live in silence. We would have to learn a new way of life… But God had a plan….

At two and a half God would bring a miracle into our lives.  A doctor that would be able to perform a special laser surgery that would restore sound to her life…. But for a little while… she would hear TOO much.  Sounds would be louder and voices more distracting, loud sounds would hurt and again, we learned a new way of life…. But God had a plan……

At four, my sweet girl would again face death, as a seemingly insignificant insect bite would infect her with Meningitis.  For six weeks we would endure fevers and seizures…. And I PRAYED…. He could have taken her, but God had a plan…..

In kindergarten, I began to see my sweet little girl struggling to learn.  I would also become aware of how amazingly gifted she was.  I would come to understand that good things often arrived in tandem with struggles.  Again, we would learn a new way of life.  We would have obstacle to face, but we would face them together….. because God had a plan….

Dyslexia, Dysgraphia and Developmental Delays were terms we became intimately acquainted with.  God would place just the right people into our lives at just the right time to help us on our road to learning.  These people would help enrich our hearts as well as our minds… and we would begin to thrive… because God had a plan…..

In her sixth year of life, she would again face death, but this time in the loss of her papa.  He was a great man of integrity who loved her and taught her many things.  Our hearts would break as we said goodbye. 

Also in that sixth year of life, the turmoil in our home would come to a breaking point.  Anger, violence and sadness began to plague our lives.  Just eight months after the loss of her papa, she would face another tragic loss, this time… her daddy.  Life, in a moment, had forever changed.  We began the slow process of putting our lives back together… but that would have to be put on hold when just four months later, our Nanny would be diagnosed with cancer and life would again change.  We spent the next seven months traveling to Chicago every other week for a week to ten days to help care for Nan.  We would “road-school” the rest of that year, as we spent our last days with my mom and best friend and her Nan whom we loved so very much. 

In the span of eighteen months, she would lose three of the most important people in her life…. But God had a plan…..

In this time of tragedy and loss, she learned how to serve, she learned who God was, she learned to put other’s needs before her own, she watched someone she loved be taken by cancer, she learned what grief looked like and felt like, she learned to trust in God’s sovereignty even in the most difficult of circumstances.

At nine, she would learn truths about the loss of her daddy that had been withheld because of her age.  She would experience anger this year.  She would feel abandoned and betrayed.  She would see her mama breaking apart.  We would both finally learn how to grieve, how to forgive and we would see God’s Grace abound in our lives.  We would start to experience healing, the kind of healing that ONLY God can bring.  Because God had a plan…..

We have spent the last 3 years healing, learning not only what Grace means, but also what it looks like.  We have NEVER WALKED ALONE!  We have had many ups and downs.  We have dealt with serious medical issues, and the FEAR that can come with them.  We have again walked alongside a young friend who has cancer… he’s still fighting, and we’re walking alongside her Auntie who also now has cancer…. We are trusting in God’s sovereignty… because God has a plan….

This year I’ve had the blessing of seeing my sweet girl giving her heart and her life to Jesus.  She’s come to know Him as He has been revealing Himself to her in ways she never imagines.  She is learning that she wants her Walk to talk LOUDER than her Talk talks, and I stand amazed… because God had a plan!

We have home schooled for almost 6 years now.  I have had many people say things like: “You’re sheltering her!” and “You’re not allowing her to experience “REAL” life!  To this, I say: “Whether you send your child to public school, private school, or choose to home school, God is ultimately in control.  Everything that comes into our lives is Father filtered.  Every up, every down, every circumstance, every loss, every moment of suffering is brought into our lives to mold us into the people He created us to be.  So if it is an experience that He feels is necessary for her to become the woman of God that He created her to be, whether she’s home schooled or public schooled, it is going to come her way, period!”

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

I can stand today and say that I have literally seen the evidence of Jeremiah 29:11-13, pure and simply, in the fingerprints of God all over her life.

From the moment I prayed and asked God for her by name, to her first breath, and every moment of every day that I’ve shared with her, there is one thing I know, she belongs to Him.  I thank God for EVERY moment that He blesses me with.  She is a joy to my heart and a blessing to my soul.  This job of motherhood… it is hard, but it’s the highest calling God has ever given me, and I pray that I will be worthy of this calling, and continue to shepherd her well.   Thank you Lord Jesus for this amazing life you’ve blessed me with, for 12 years of love and laughter, sorrow and pain, as they have shaped us, molded us and will continue to refine us.  Because you have a plan!