Twelve years ago
today, September 6th, 2001, my sweet baby came violently into this
world. In those first precious
moments we would both struggle for LIFE, we would both pull through, because
God had a plan…
In her first
week, we would be shaken to our core when on September 11th, two
planes would fly into the Twin Towers, and another into the pentagon. Life for our American military family
would change. We would face 3
deployments in the years to come.
But God had a plan….
As she entered
her second year of life, she struggled with illness and lost 98% of her
hearing. For the next year and a
half she would live in silence. We would have to learn a new way of life… But
God had a plan….
At two and a half
God would bring a miracle into our lives.
A doctor that would be able to perform a special laser surgery that
would restore sound to her life…. But for a little while… she would hear TOO
much. Sounds would be louder and
voices more distracting, loud sounds would hurt and again, we learned a new way
of life…. But God had a plan……
At four, my sweet
girl would again face death, as a seemingly insignificant insect bite would
infect her with Meningitis. For
six weeks we would endure fevers and seizures…. And I PRAYED…. He could have
taken her, but God had a plan…..
In kindergarten,
I began to see my sweet little girl struggling to learn. I would also become aware of how
amazingly gifted she was. I would
come to understand that good things often arrived in tandem with
struggles. Again, we would learn a
new way of life. We would have
obstacle to face, but we would face them together….. because God had a plan….
Dyslexia,
Dysgraphia and Developmental Delays were terms we became intimately acquainted
with. God would place just the
right people into our lives at just the right time to help us on our road to
learning. These people would help
enrich our hearts as well as our minds… and we would begin to thrive… because
God had a plan…..
In her sixth year
of life, she would again face death, but this time in the loss of her
papa. He was a great man of
integrity who loved her and taught her many things. Our hearts would break as we said goodbye.
Also in that
sixth year of life, the turmoil in our home would come to a breaking
point. Anger, violence and sadness
began to plague our lives. Just
eight months after the loss of her papa, she would face another tragic loss,
this time… her daddy. Life, in a
moment, had forever changed. We
began the slow process of putting our lives back together… but that would have
to be put on hold when just four months later, our Nanny would be diagnosed
with cancer and life would again change.
We spent the next seven months traveling to Chicago every other week for
a week to ten days to help care for Nan.
We would “road-school” the rest of that year, as we spent our last days
with my mom and best friend and her Nan whom we loved so very much.
In the span of
eighteen months, she would lose three of the most important people in her
life…. But God had a plan…..
In this time of
tragedy and loss, she learned how to serve, she learned who God was, she
learned to put other’s needs before her own, she watched someone she loved be
taken by cancer, she learned what grief looked like and felt like, she learned
to trust in God’s sovereignty even in the most difficult of circumstances.
At nine, she
would learn truths about the loss of her daddy that had been withheld because
of her age. She would experience
anger this year. She would feel
abandoned and betrayed. She would
see her mama breaking apart. We
would both finally learn how to grieve, how to forgive and we would see God’s
Grace abound in our lives. We
would start to experience healing, the kind of healing that ONLY God can
bring. Because God had a plan…..
We have spent the
last 3 years healing, learning not only what Grace means, but also what it
looks like. We have NEVER WALKED
ALONE! We have had many ups and
downs. We have dealt with serious
medical issues, and the FEAR that can come with them. We have again walked alongside a young friend who has
cancer… he’s still fighting, and we’re walking alongside her Auntie who also
now has cancer…. We are trusting in God’s sovereignty… because God has a plan….
This year I’ve
had the blessing of seeing my sweet girl giving her heart and her life to
Jesus. She’s come to know Him as
He has been revealing Himself to her in ways she never imagines. She is learning that she wants her Walk
to talk LOUDER than her Talk talks, and I stand amazed… because God had a plan!
We have home
schooled for almost 6 years now. I
have had many people say things like: “You’re sheltering her!” and “You’re not
allowing her to experience “REAL” life!
To this, I say: “Whether you send your child to public school, private
school, or choose to home school, God is ultimately in control. Everything that comes into our lives is
Father filtered. Every up, every
down, every circumstance, every loss, every moment of suffering is brought into
our lives to mold us into the people He created us to be. So if it is an experience that He feels
is necessary for her to become the woman of God that He created her to be,
whether she’s home schooled or public schooled, it is going to come her way,
period!”
Jeremiah 29:11-13
says:
“For I know the
plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to
you. You will seek me and find me
when you seek me with all your heart.”
I can stand today
and say that I have literally seen the evidence of Jeremiah 29:11-13, pure and
simply, in the fingerprints of God all over her life.
From the moment I
prayed and asked God for her by name, to her first breath, and every moment of
every day that I’ve shared with her, there is one thing I know, she belongs to
Him. I thank God for EVERY moment
that He blesses me with. She is a
joy to my heart and a blessing to my soul. This job of motherhood… it is hard, but it’s the highest
calling God has ever given me, and I pray that I will be worthy of this calling,
and continue to shepherd her well.
Thank you Lord Jesus for this amazing life you’ve blessed me with, for
12 years of love and laughter, sorrow and pain, as they have shaped us, molded
us and will continue to refine us.
Because you have a plan!
